Do you know who you are? I don’t mean in a name, rank, and serial number way of knowing. Do you have a solid, healthy identity? Are you blessed with a strong sense of self with solid boundaries between you and others? Or are you filled with self-doubt about who you truly are?
Think about how you see yourself. Is the first thought that you are the son or daughter of your narcissistic parent? Or do you think “I’m a loser” or some other derogatory description?
I was driven to ask myself these questions when my son appeared in the kitchen in the middle of a school day. A high school junior, he left during the middle of the lunch period because he didn’t feel right. He asked me about family history. He said he was trying to figure out who he is.
I told my son that family history can tell you where you came from. But it doesn’t define who you are. I think that this is an important lesson for adult children of narcissistic parents. Continue reading