My wife and I sat on the couch talking. Somehow the topic of my sister came up. She is my mother’s golden child, meaning that she became enmeshed with my narcissistic mother as a child. Today she is both enmeshed and a narcissist.
My wife said to me, “You remember how your sister held up our wedding?”
I shook my head, confusion registering on my face.
My wife was at the back of the church, waiting to walk down the aisle. I was in a room off the main sanctuary and had no idea what we were waiting for. Apparently everything was being held up because my sister had not arrived. Continue reading
One of the crippling states of having been raised by a narcissistic parent is your belief that your needs don’t matter. Not only do you needs not get met, you don’t even express your needs. In fact many adult children of narcissists don’t acknowledge they have needs. Why?
“Adult children of narcissists are well-practiced in the art of pretending they have no needs, believe that they must present as demand-less in order to gain others’ acceptance, and that if they show their true wants and needs to others, they will be rejected.” Source
By the time you reached adulthood, you became highly skilled at pretending you possessed no wants of needs. That’s because you spent your entire life pretending to not have needs. Since you were a young child, your narcissistic parent raised you to be demand-less. You learned to fear your parent’s rejection should you voice your needs. Continue reading
There’s something I have to say right here at the start of this post. Why I’m saying it will become apparent as you read on.
Let me address something. I know I’m not a narcissist. Believe me when I say this because I have checked and rechecked with therapists and my psychiatrist. I’ve asked my wife a hundred times if I’m like my mother and my father.
And I’ve read the DSM V (the manual used by mental health professionals to make a diagnosis of a mental health problem in an individual) description for narcissistic personality disorder so many time that I nearly have it memorized. Every source I consult confirms my lack of narcissistic personality disorder. Continue reading