About Me

Hello. I call myself Chase Townsend.I live in the eastern portion of the United States.

I’m sorry to be so vague and use a false name, but my relationships with many people–some who I value and some who I do not–will be negatively effected if I go public.

While I use a pseudonym, and may change small details and names to remain anonymous, everything else on this website is true. That is my promise to you.

I am the child of two narcissists. My childhood–like yours–was painful. That pain continued into adulthood. I’ve spent years dealing with my pain and admitting to myself the truth about my parents. Now I wish to help others deal with their pain.

I’m not a mental health professional. I write from the perspective of someone who has gone through a string of therapists who knew little, if nothing, about treating the adult child of a narcissist. So I want to share with you how I used the skills those therapists did have combined with my own efforts to lessen the painful consequences of being narcissism’s child.

I can’t promise what worked for me will work for you. We all have our unique paths to travel. But by reading these posts you will at a minimum know you are not alone in your suffering.

I invite you to have conversations with me and other readers in the comments. The only rule is no belittling anyone, their pain, their experiences or what they are doing to heal.

This website is a place where adult children of narcissism can come and share their pain and how they are healing.

If you have questions or have something private you want to share with me, you can use the contact form or email me at narcissismschild@gmail.com

I welcome you and hope you come back often.

Chase

2 thoughts on “About Me

  1. All I can say is “THANK YOU”! As a daughter of two (aging) npd parents, your blog has been a godsend to me. I have emotionally disconnected from my parents (as a survival mechanism) but I see them often and every time I feel like I have a “handle” or strategy on how to deal with them, something triggers a need to attempt to again “make sense” of my relationship with each of them and that’s how I discovered your website.

    As the scapegoat child (I have one brother and sister), I don’t feel I can talk to my siblings, so it’s really nice to know that I’m not alone. Thank you so much for opening your heart and sharing both your pain and healing with those of us that are suffering and healing with you.

  2. Hi Chase,

    Thank you for taking the time to share your experiences – yes it does help to know you’re not alone. ! I feel like I need to write about where I’m at right now in my journey and – maybe this will help others who are suffering too.

    I discovered my mother was a narc about 10 months ago now. It took a breakdown, depression, anxiety, PTSD and suicide ideation following by therapy to see it. I’d never heard of the disorder before but I always knew that something was off about my mother.

    The series of events that led to my breakdown were nothing new I suppose – but they were incredibly extreme even for her and it quite literally broke me / almost cost me my life

    My mother had hung up on me for asking her how to make things better between us. Then the silent rage ensued for around 4 months – followed by a flying monkey drip feeding me information about her upcoming open heart surgery

    As I resisted my play in the drama (waiting to be treated like a human being and wanting the news direct) – I realise now I wasn’t feeding her so she upped the stakes.

    The flying monkey (my aunt) called to tell me when my mother’s life/death open heart surgery was happening and / that my mother didn’t want me to know / and if I called her I could kill her

    Within 24 hours I slumped, lost my business and was unable to get out of bed (weeing in a bucket as it was too difficult to get to the toilet)

    Suicide ideation occurred over this period, during which time I had my will drawn up with care instructions for my precious furry children – then I went into therapy

    On hearing about the disorder – it was like someone adjusted a foggy lens and finally all was perfectly clear in my life for the first time

    It’s been ten months now and I’m back on my feet though still a little shaky – and I’ve recently come to the conclusion that I can’t go back to my mother – I’ve reached no contact stage. I’m struggling with it a little bit but I know that it will never be ok for me to go back there

    I’ve already received the teaser campaign via email from my mother for the next projection I’d have to wear if I return, “If you don’t understand that I wanted to keep news about my surgery to myself until I had all the facts then fine – leave me here”

    As she can’t wear any of her broken parts – I will add yet another badge to my ugly, oversized coat that is a lifetime of my mother’s projections. And this badge will be “for the girl who lacks understanding or compassion for her mother’s consideration regarding her health”

    I can’t carry her projections anymore – I know I’ve got nothing left.

    I had a dream about her last night – she looked younger and her hair was cut differently – almost childishly. She came with great and unbelievable news – that my Aunt (the flying monkey) had done the same thing to my mother that she’d done to me

    I told her I didn’t believe her and that I wasn’t ready to talk – but she was up and gone before I could finish my sentence. The feeling left with me is almost a distilled memory of what it’s always been like in conflict with her.

    I wonder how everyone else goes with this stage – reaching the idea of no contact. In the end for me it’s not a matter of choice – in the end there is no choice if I want to survive.

    I hope this mail finds you well Chase – all the best to you and your family

    Jane.

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